Is validation from others costing you?
"Being affirmed by the Savior only"
Lately I've been a little worried, a lot of overwhelmed, mixed with some extreme over thinking. Why? Well years ago God promised to do some major things in my life and of course years passed by and I forgot all about those things. Mostly because the last few years of my life have seemingly been horrible in a sense and somewhat of a struggle.
And might I add that the struggle was real! All because I kept choosing Brittney and not God. Brittney and not purpose. I was like Jonah, I ran for what seemingly felt like forever. But some how I was still called, still chosen, still loved, and He still chased me even in my resistance. Fast forward to now, some of those promises are manifesting and I'm scared! I mean FREAKED OUT to the max!
Did I mention terrified as well? The more his promises unfold in my life, the more I've been caught up on people. Previously, I would always lie to myself and say I'm not concerned with what others think of me. When for years my character, my thoughts, my integrity, my words, and my actions were never based on what Christ told me I was or his word.
Instead it was always shaped by what others saw me as or felt I should be. So I was torn in the inside but pretended to be together on the outside. All because I wasn't the authentic me! Especially knowing that people valued my gifts and my talents more than they valued me as a person. I was an awesome person to everyone as long as I agreed with them.
Even in my admitting and writing this I can feel God healing but also awakening me to what he never destined me to and that's to live in the shadows of other's opinions. (It's such a sweet moment to be able to walk in truth!) But even as I share this with you, I'm increasingly aware of this overlooked issue, more so now than ever, because I'm having to reject what was once my truth (others opinions) in order to get to God's truth about me.
God has made it so clear that he wants me to deal with it, so here I am. I thought that when God decides that he wants to push me even further into purpose he'll notify those around me so I won't feel so much friction or hear "Well I don't believe God told you that, it doesn't sound like him." WRONG!
Instead I've been worried once again about being accepted, validated, approved etc for something God already qualified me for ...not others, but it's as though my brain says I need man's endorsement to do it. I kept asking, "Will people be able to discern/accept the call and anointing on my life? Will they fathom what God is doing through me and in me?"
If I dumbdown, I risk not showing up for my life! If I settle, I'm forever left to struggle with who I am and what could've been. If I remain satisfied with the minimum, I go to the grave FULL instead of EMPTY. If I settle I risk the growth and life of the generation God has called me to BE THE ANSWER to. I can't compromise destiny for comfort and opinions! It sounds so simple but yet slightly complicated!
Constantly I hear God's voice, my Pastor's voice, and my mentor's voice in my head saying you don't need those things to please God! We as humans desire to be liked, desire to be apart of the "in crowd," we desire the opinions of others, and their thoughts... more than we hold fast to the prophecy God has given us over our lives. I kept telling God in prayer, I know what you're asking of me and things are moving kind of fast. I want to do what your requiring but what if people don't understand and I'm seen as an idiot? Why did I ask him that? He pointed me to his word with a never failing answer...
Galatians 1:10Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
This broke my heart, not just for myself but others as well. Society has coached us so much on reputation that we feel more obligated to look the part instead of allowing God to make us the part. So we run seeking the approval of those around us and the world, only to be left unsatisfied. All this time I've been trying to please God and man! But this scripture let's me know it's impossible to do both!
I don't have to have man's opinion or approval to serve God or do what he's called me to do. I mean it would be great, but it can't be a necessity. Everyone won't agree/accept the vision and purpose God has given you. So do you give up on what God has called you to? Do you not chase after destiny because no one has ever taken the path God has you on?
Will you settle for ordinary because extraordinary may require you to walk alone? Will you tell God he can't call you to do this or that because people will think you're strange? To many, Jesus was strange but still called! He didn't let the opinions keep him from purpose! Might I suggest that the opinions and friction only arrive when you're moving in the right direction! It's called opposition!
GREATNESS doesn't always meet agreement! I beg of you to reevaluate! I'm doing it too! Im breaking free from the chains of man and opinion! My purpose is costly and I'm not going to throw something of extreme value away for acceptance! So today, I'm telling God, my creator, my father... Let my soul and my very being be overly satisfied with you validating me!
His approval of me and what he has called me to is far greater than my comfort. We aren't here to be comfortable or to make others comfortable. We are here for souls! Please God! Please God! Please God! I can now assure you there is joy in God's approval of you even when the opinions disapprove of you! It's your turn to be great! I'm cheering for you! Let's be world changers together!
My truth is in His approval not other's opinion
Are you willing to jump? Yes? Maybe? No?
Can I just tell you how much I've struggled with obedience lately? I know that's uncommon among the believers and its a rare conversation that many are willing to have or even admit to. But somehow truth is my way to the light! So I'm increasingly learning and forever embracing it as I continue on this road to destiny.
But wait, there's something that I've picked up on, a pattern I've noticed in my quest to purpose. Every so often, but lately it's been more frequent, God is asking for another yes from me in another area of my life. And to be clear, by the time I give him a yes for that particular area, he's a million feet ahead of me asking for a Yes in another area.
And the complexity of the yes has intensified, yet I'm still faced with my will or his will. To face my fears or not to face my fears. With each yes that I give, he allows me to see that he had me all along. But the pattern, the pattern that I've noticed is how hard it seems to be to give him yes over and over again. The hidden, the unexplored, the unfamiliar...
Have you ever frozen in the in-between? Daily God tugs at me to make a destiny decision! 50% of the time I get there and the other 50% I wrestle with. I mean this is our place to be real, raw, and honest..right? I would never want to persuade you that I always match things up perfectly or get them right. But in my struggle with obedience I realized my hearing changed.
You may be wondering what I mean by that. So here's the thing. In all my moments where I give him a yes, I learn him more, I understand him better, his wisdom is extended to me, his voice is distinguished among the storms of life, my inner being stands on the mountain top and screams to the heavens, "my pleasure is found in pleasing you God!" I HEAR HIM BETTER AND CONTINUALLY! But in my disobedience, I know not that his voice has become silent to my ears.
I continue in my routine, only to notice that the constant conversation with him has grown cold. So I search, I search and I search. Only to be met with the reality of losing something. But technically I didn't lose it, it was right where I left it. Often times we jeopardize and take for granted the consistency of his talk with us and his simple yet oh so gentle nudges that we say, get with me later God. Or I'm not willing to change that right now. God, how about you make the work load easier then I'll jump in and finish up.
Or take this from me so I can focus, when all you had to do was let go. I could go on for days how disobedience can creep in. But there is something very important you must know! Your yes and your obedience is the only way to elevation and serving others. You may say, how and why? "Whatever God has called you to do and whatever he has placed in you is not for you, it simply means there's a crisis going on somewhere in the world and what's in you is needed and necessary.
You can't afford not to be in position." I heard this ring in my ear so clear as I watched a well known pastor preach on a YouTube video. It's been in my spirit for days. Because I've been in the in-between. Wondering in my head do I have what it takes to give him another yes? Can I do it? In all honesty I'm in a place where I feel my life has been completely disrupted and shook up!
Not in a bad way, but a very great one. But it's still causing me to slightly struggle with my yes because it's unfamiliar and in my struggle with my yes it's affected my hearing. What is your response when God is freely blowing your mind and showing you his written-out plan for you? This is a place I've never been in. But in my need for his comfort he's pushed me to the edge and held my hand and now he says jump Brittney!
That doesn't look like comfort, does it? That's because he's calling for what's on the inside of me and not my fears! Wow! If you only knew how much me writing that out in words just freed me up, you'd rejoice with me! He didn't speak to my fear instead he spoke to my greatness! He called out what he required of me not what was hindering me! Before I get too caught up, let me introduce you to a friend of mine.
His name is Gideon. Gideon was an unlikely candidate. He wasn't the people's first choice, but he was God's choice! The Israelites were in need of a deliverer, someone who could take their enemy out. Because once again they continued the cycle of FAILURE➡ JUDGMENT➡ REPENTANCE➡ DELIVERANCE➡ RESTORATION.
I mean they put it into rotation like a religious act in the book of Judges. So much so the Lord gave them over to their enemies. But this particular enemy would wait in the desert and then they would raid the farms of the Israelites and leave them with nothing.
This happened constantly for years! So we find Gideon inside a winepress threshing wheat, full of fear. Why was he there? He was fearful that the enemy would steal the wheat from him. Can you imagine being full of fear and trying to thresh wheat in a hole? That was Gideon. The angel of the Lord came along dressed as a shepherd and said, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior." Now let's pause the story for a moment. Now this is just me.
In my head I probably would have said clearly he must be blind. Because anyone with eyes can see I'm in fear, it's my crutch, it's my comfortable place. I'm hiding, so this man can't be talking to me! I can just imagine what all was going on in the mind of Gideon. He was probably puzzled as to why the angel of the Lord called him mighty warrior instead of fearful Gideon. It's because he was speaking to his purpose and what was inside him.
Not to his fears or his place of comfort. I can't stress how much I've resembled Gideon in many of my moments with God lately. I could be renamed as scary Brittney! So let's pick back up on the story and see what happens! Gideon asked the angel of the Lord, "how, why, what if?" The angel of the Lord simply responded to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand."
This story again is found in the book of Judges chapter 6 and 7. Here's my point from just the beginning of Gideon's story! We find that he was full of what ifs and excuses. But he eventually had to decide to give a Yes, even in his fear. The angel has already spoken to who he was and that the Lord would be with him. Sound familiar? What has God said about you that you haven't replied yes to?
Has he not promised you he'll be with you! The funny thing about purpose is, it will have your emotions and feelings every where. I'm reminded constantly by my mentor not to give in to them and not to trust them because they constantly change. But I wonder, I really wonder, I just wonder are you sitting on your call as the next Mighty Warrior? Have you given in and settled for familiar/fear?
Have you settled for safe? Has disobedience enticed you so that you can't hear anymore? I wonder if we both, yes, you and I, need to practice our yes until it becomes permanent. Until we come into agreement with the mighty warrior within to reach purpose, just as Gideon did. The angel told him, go in the strength you have. Where Gideon thought he was weak, apparently the angel saw otherwise.
Gideon was constantly fearful, but his reality was mighty warrior and he couldn't allow his fear to be his identity! When we identify with our issues more than we identify with what God says about us, our yes is knocked down to a maybe and then a no. I dare you today to jump off the edge with me into your Yes! Let's do it together! I see greatness in you and I want you to see it too! Show the world that purpose is worth the jump! What is God saying about you Gideon?
I have the strength to give another YES!
"29, the year of God's provision"
The conversation ends and as I walk to the car I'm stuck in all the beautiful moments God rushed me with during service and afterwards just to let me know he heard my little whispers. Fast forward and things go up even higher. I went down stairs to bother my mentor, something I did the entire time I was there.
Not to annoy her but because I missed her and wanted to pull from her wisdom as much as I possibly could before I left. By this time it's dark out and we end up walking to the lake. I just wanted to get out of the house, wasn't really expecting anything major. We make it to the lake and we are just sitting having a casual chat. I somehow decided to say give me 39 things you've learned throughout your walk with Christ and the path he's placed you on.
Only my inquisitive mind would go there! She is silent for a moment and I glance at her face, she smiles really hard in the most calming way and says God is so faithful. I noticed that as she began to tell me all of what she learned it all pointed back to God being faithful!
At first I thought this lady just repeated to me in so many words 39 times that God is faithful, she didn't get the value in what I asked her. Once I was done having my moment in my head because apparently she was in my head too, she said no Brittney he really is FAITHFUL, that's what I've learned that's what I know to be my truth.
It finally clicked in my head. I realized how she reached the point of destiny she was in, she trusted the God in her and in return he gave her His faithfulness. I could've jumped up and clapped like she had given an inauguration speech to save this country because she gave me something so simple yet profound!
We continued talking for hours into the night at the lake and we finally left. The walk back home was a breeze, I was full from everything we had discussed. But more importantly I was more knowledgeable of who I was in Christ, where I was going, and what he was requiring of me. My mentor and I have similar ways so we both love our personal space and time.
I invaded her personal space and time constantly while I was there and although I knew she wanted to resist me in those moments she embraced me instead. I knew then those were big God moments for me because I simply just desired the Christ in her. So it's the next day and I'm a little down about leaving, I wanted to stay badly.
So much so in my head I said I can just forget my life back home and just exist because I had learned so much. Not possible, but I tried it for a split second. Even as I slept the previous night before I left, I asked God what could I give her in exchange for everything she's poured into me these last few days. He answered and said you can pray over her.
So immediately I got up and went to the prayer closet in her room, her special place with God and I shut the door. I began to worship God and then I entered into prayer. I covered her in a way I'd never done before, words just began to flow, I didn't own them I knew they belonged to the holy spirit!
From that alone, my heart was full. Not expecting anything because I had already gained so much, I left the prayer closet to talk to my mentor. She just looked at me for a moment because obviously I had definitely invaded her personal space once again.
I laughed on the inside because that time I invaded her space on her behalf! I was so excited about the moment God created for her in the prayer closet that I ignored her facial expression. We chatted for a moment and then I said, you didn't give me anything, I need a souvenir!
As usual I didn't know what I was asking because what I got in return was the icing on the cake to my trip! Before I tell you what happened I just need one musician and someone to shout for me! I don't shout, but if you ever need someone to raise their hands or cry for you, I'm that person!!
Listen! So she says okay I'll pray over you! I look at her like, really, you do that already but okay. So she begins to pray! Somebody touch your neighbor and shout IMPARTATION! Say it, like you're in church! Yes! You! This lady prays over me and I felt an immediate shift in my life!
Now I'm sure she said more than this but this was all I heard and my mouth dropped when she said it! She mentioned a double portion of the anointing on her life to be on mine. Now before I say anything else can I just say the best gifts can't be bought in the store! Honey, I left with something that was far more valuable than any material item!
This lady just propelled me into purpose even further just with her words! I leave the room and I go upstairs to pack my things and get dressed for the airport. I was dreading seeing the end to something so great that I almost missed my flight trying to drag the time out. We arrived at the airport and we got out and before I grabbed my bags she hugged me super tight and said I love you.
I told her the same, but in that moment as she hugged me it was as if she had awakened a dry/ dead place in me and commissioned me once again for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I entered the airport in awe of what God had done for me while in Houston!
I arrived as one person and I left forever changed by her impact and the God ordained impact of others who didn't know me but were obedient to God by telling me what he was saying. So yes this blog is a little lengthy because you needed details on what GREATNESS LOOKS LIKE!
I didn't want to leave anything out that could help you! But I honestly said all those things to say this, mentorship is necessary and if you ever want to be great, follow/serve someone greater than yourself! I see so much of Christ in my mentor that she's not only my mentor but a mom to me as well.
Her life screams, follow me as I follow Christ! This ride with her has been a joy and I've grown and matured so much! All glory to God and my love for him will forever be expressed in me answering yes to whatever he ask of me! Choose purpose, I did and I haven't been the same since!
God sometimes we don't realize we need that one person in our lives who will help push us to the next level of purpose you've destined for us. Open our eyes, our hearts, our ears, and minds to receive what you have planned for us. Help us to trust the unknown without wavering.
Help us to be vulnerable enough to embrace accountability and truth! Allow us to lead a life where others simply see you and not us in the earth. Let us deny ourselves that your glory will be revealed. Let us serve more than we desire to take. Allow us to see ourselves through the eyes of you and know that we are significant in the eyes of our savior.
Let us encounter you and that one person on our path that changes destiny for us forever! We deny our desires and choose you! Daddy, we surrender, have your way! Abba, we belong to you!
In Jesus' name, Amen!
My heart is full and greatness is my portion!
Below I've listed 29 things I've learned along with a bonus! I'm sure they will bless you as much as they've blessed me!
1. I don't need more money I simply need God's provision.
2. I need to discover Brittney and rediscover her continuously.
3. I have to SHOW UP for my life, no one else will.
4. Never become less to make others feel comfortable.
5. God is always faithful.
6. If I'm the smartest in the group, I've out grown the group.
7. Glean from those who have the godly wisdom you need to finish the path your on.
8. Grace has been there all the way.
9. God will meet you right where you are.
10. If you ask, he'll definitely answer.
11. Sometimes you waiting has nothing to do with you but everything to do with who God is preparing for you.
12. Life is so much better/easier with a GODLY mentor.
13. God's love will always seek me out.
14. Mercy causes him to be patient with me.
15. My surrender is my bridge to the next version of who I am.
16. A servant is selfless.
17. Don't count myself out because others lack understanding of who I am.
18. It's better to hear than to speak.
19. You only find out who you really are and why you are on earth when you seek God wholeheartedly.
20. When you desire God's plan for your life and forsake your own plans, greatness happens.
21. God will speak for you, just be the available vessel.
22. Never leave the potter's wheel, it may be painful but it will make you.
23. You can't birth forth what you're afraid of.
24. You don't have to do life alone, ask God for his presence continuously.
25. I can only be successful on the path God has for me, be yourself.
26. My testimony must be spoken out to release the strength of God to others.
27. My understanding can wait my obedience cannot.
28. I trust God by being obedient.
29. God will amaze you every time you choose him, you get more than what you ask for.
30. (Bonus) If you refuse accountability, failure is around the corner waiting on you.
"29, the year of God's provision"
Has God ever revealed so much to you about destiny/ purpose all at once that it takes days to soak in? Well, that's the space I'm currently in. I took a much needed trip to Houston for my birthday. Simply because it's been a while since I took time for myself. My usual stance for my birthday would be to reflect on what took place in my life that year. But somehow it would produce a great depression because I always felt failure hanging over my heart/head like a cloud.
Seemingly since I chose to do something totally different this year and refusing that place, so did God and he blew my little human expectations out the water! It was profound. I had the chance to see God's sovereignty at work. Have you ever been near a miracle/sign/wonder? So close to it that you know it's God? So close to it that you marvel at the hand and work of God? This was me for the last few days. Something I didn't sign up for, yet I had a front row seat to greatness.
So much so it's hard to put in words. Before I left for my trip, all I kept hearing from the Holy Spirit was this: "This isn't a vacation, it's an impartation." Weeks leading up to my trip I kept wondering what that meant. What's the significance of those words. Until I stepped off my plane in anticipation as I settled my heart to accept whatever God wanted to do for me and in me.
Can I just say that it was the best, jaw dropping, mouth opening, surprising, mind blowing, in awe, Jesus take the wheel, and did I hear that correctly, kind of 4 days of my life!! I'll never forget it. I remember God telling me 29 would be my best year yet but I definitely didn't fathom any of this.
I love love love to observe. I knew something big was about to happen at a party I attended while in Houston when there was 15 or more people in this one room who all took time in detail to share how my mentor touched/ impacted their life. I'm not being dramatic just follow me!
People usually wait until you're in a casket to tell you that type of information, especially of that magnitude, but by then I feel it's too late. I think we should share quite often with those who change our lives simply because it's something they need to hear and its the piece to the puzzle that keeps things in the right perspective when the process becomes tough and giving up is on the list of choices.
I was floored at the fact that she had touched so many lives in her short period of time and even when I went to God in prayer about her, he said she's touched way more and she'll touch even more than that. I laugh at myself because I have a habit now of soaking things in and asking God "can I do that? Can you allow people to say the same about me? Does my reflection of you produce that type of godly impression on and in the lives of others?"
As each person spoke of her there was a build. A buildup of everyone in the room seeing one person denying themselves constantly to change the world so others could be better. Once the last person spoke the room filled with silence!
I believe it was everyone soaking in what was said but more importantly realizing that we saw firsthand God working through and in an individual, yet we didn't realize it until we all were put in a room together. That's crazy isn't it?!?! The bonus to all of that is this, I met a bunch of amazing people that night who all were constantly choosing purpose over their own will, a room full of greatness!
My heart was super full by the time the night ended and that was just the beginning! I've never been in a room with that many people who were so wrapped up in purpose that nothing else mattered besides the call on their life!
While I'm taking all this in my spirit is leaping with excitement and my heart was full of gratitude towards God that he would allow me to witness all of this. It was humbling! Next was the prayer closet! Mind you these events took place over 4 days, I'm simply just giving the order of the events. Can I just raise my hands ten minutes in the spirit for this prayer closet!
So let me start by saying my one-on-one time with God was in the process of a shift. So my personal time with him hasn't been what it usually has because I've been fighting him on the way he's taking things to a very uncomfortable and unfamiliar level with me. I said that to say, the moment I entered the prayer closet, it broke!
I felt his presence surround me like I never have before and as I listened to the worship music and observed my mentor enter in as though she's dancing with the savior and its just the two of them, I heard God say these words. "Your surrender is your bridge over to the next version of you!"
Can I just say that when he said that I fell out literally in the closet in tears. Why? Because I needed an answer to move beyond the place I was in! My inner being needed to know the risk was more than worth taking! His presence was so thick in that room, it left me speechless and forever changed!
Fast forward to Sunday! Oh how I love Sundays! First I was super excited about being able to go to one of my favorite churches in the world that left an outstanding impact on my life and it was unforgettable. I hadn't been in years and so I was anticipating and expecting on the scale of 100! I knew it wouldn't be a regular day but I didn't expect to be floored.
So service starts and it is nothing short of being bomb! Praise and worship was lit! Do you hear me! (That's me shaking you to get your attention through the computer screen! Lol) I'm just taking it all in! After praise and worship every one greeted each other! It was so genuine and love filled that it remind me of my church back home, Newbirth Tuscaloosa!
The service just kept getting better and better! Might I add, the pastor truly has a heart for the people that God has given him to shepherd and it was a joy to watch, it reminded me of my pastor! Next up was a very significant individual I remember meeting at the party!
I was in awe to see her operate in ministry and how she challenged and encouraged the people just by being transparent! Transparency is everything, it supersedes the basics any day! After watching and hearing her I said God she's so precious, I'd like to have a conversation with her or at least hug her before I leave. Prayer answered immediately after service!
But before we get to that I have to tell you about everything else. So the pastor is up diving into the message and the title alone blew my mind! Immediately he stops and begins to prophesy to different people! In my head, I'm saying don't call me out, mind you he had already walked up to me and asked was I okay when everyone was hugging and greeting each other.
I nervously told him yes sir as he held my hands! Well he comes on the side of the sanctuary where I'm seated and it's as though he yelled my name. Immediately my stomach began to sink and I was standing next to my mentor and I tried for a split second to hide behind my mentor unfortunately I'm way taller than her so you can imagine how that worked out for me, thumbs down.
So I fearfully leave my seat with my pen and paper still in hand. Only for it to be taken from me and he speaks to my fear and tells me it's okay. As he begins to speak and confirms the call for ministry on my life and how great it was, how I'd battled with things concerning it in my head, different characteristics I possessed, and how I would be able articulate the word effortlessly, I became overwhelmed.
Y'all I could've grabbed my purse and went home. It didn't stop there he used the hands of one of the most influential people in my life (my mentor) to touch my stomach that ministry would erupt in me. How ironic is that? There is no way you could convince me that God wasn't in the room!
Afterwards, tears left my eyes as my mentor hugged me tightly. God whispered so strongly to me Brittney I heard you and I answered you. I secretly asked God to show up in a major way on my behalf and produce what he needed to get out of me. Well he did that in abundance! I sat the rest of the service listening intentionally but amazed that God would pause time for me.
The pastor finished his sermon and it was powerful. We were prayed over and service was dismissed. My mentor greeted a few people as we waited around. I thought to myself this is a lot to take in, the day can't possibly get any better. I was wrong! Remember the lady I told you about who encouraged and challenged the people?
Yes, her, well somehow a God ordained moment happened! My prayer was answered and I was given the opportunity to speak with this incredible gift. She read me like a book and I wasn't ready! I had no words, I just listened and took it all in. Listen!
God knows what we need to hear and when we need to hear it. She told me to SHOW UP for my life! The only people who knew I wasn't showing up was God and I. I slightly checked out when I began to wrestle with God in my private time with him because it changed. Immediately it reminded me of someone standing on stage to speak/ audition but nothing left their mouth, they had the opportunity to show up but they allowed fear to grip them.
I told myself then, showing up is my priority! The best me is seen when I SHOW UP! Then she says if you're the smartest person in your group/with the people who surround you, you've out grown them. In my head I'm thinking, why is she in my business.
Because for a while I had been feeling that way and I just couldn't describe it. Then she says don't dumb down to make others comfortable or so they will accept you. I'd done that all my life because I knew I was different but no one ever understood my difference.
So I would make myself uncomfortable so others could be comfortable, hiding who I was and hurting myself in the process! God freed me up the moment she spoke those words. I hugged her and told her how precious she was and my mentor and I began to walk away. She followed us and began to speak again. She asked if I was married, had kids, and my age.
I answered her. To understand what she says next, I have to tell you this because then I knew it was God speaking. I recently gave the battle of wanting a husband and a daughter to God. I told him in prayer one day that yes I want those things but I desire your will for my life more so if it's not your plan for me I accept it.
And since that day I've been so content with it just being God and I. I'm enjoying his presence. So in so many words she says, you've been a little disquieted by that. I hesitated and nodded my head while saying somewhat. Because before I fully gave it to God it disturbed me greatly.
She said it's okay, you're in a great place. Discover Brittney and rediscover her again! God is preparing him for you. He isn't ready yet but he will be. PAUSE! Moment of silence! Before I became content in not being married I kept telling myself after all the bad relationships I'd been in and them ending, mostly because the guy didn't understand me or the call of God on my life, I would tell myself, you're not ready for marriage your just not fit for it.
No one wants to commit. That had been my words to myself for years and to hear her say that took away every doubt and fear I had of not being ready. I was overjoyed that someday I'd get God's best for me instead of me trying to pick his best for me! Can I just tell you that serving God is a wonderful thing!
Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow! ...
"Adonai, I surrender..."
"And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
Yesterday wasn't one of my so great days. I allowed Satan to defeat me in my thoughts, my body, my prayers, and me casting all my cares on the Lord. So much so that I battled depression and couldn't understand why God didn't rescue me. But truth is it wasn't God, it was me. I demanded inwardly that he come how I wanted him to come as though I was a child having a tantrum.
He didn't respond to any of it and I'm glad he didn't. I had to walk in my truth and be honest with myself on the fact that I left the potter's wheel weeks ago because it became tough. To me it was easier just to be a chipped vessel instead of one being perfected for his use. I walked away from what was exposing who I really was and I allowed it to overwhelm me and I began to think it was my job to fix myself before I was shaped on the wheel.
As I was trying to rid myself of this depression, nothing worked. I read scriptures, I prayed, I cried, and I even gave up. It's not that the power of all these things had failed me, I was expecting God to show up in the same way he always does. As I laid there I placed my headphones on and turned on a song called "Abba Father"...the song starts out just saying ADONAI repeatedly which means my Lord, master.
I just listened and then after just listening for a while I just raised my hands and tears began to pour. Immediately God began to talk and I felt the weight lifting. He then said that's all I've been waiting for you to do, surrender. He told me to keep my hands up and that as long as I kept them up he was healing me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. He reminded me of how they had to hold up the arms of Moses in order to win the battle and claim victory.
As long as I'm surrendered I win! Is surrendering easy? no! Did I make it tough on myself? Yes. Did I rebel? Yes. Is rebellion witchcraft? Yes, stubbornness is defiance and becomes idolatry. Sin equals to more sin when it's not dealt with in truth. Was disobedience more appealing to me? Yes, because I didn't have to assert any effort, I could remain the same and comfortable.
He told me as long as you keep your heart where your hands are, surrendered, you won't ever feel the need to worry about how I'll get you to the promise. Adonai is more personal. It's great to say I love God. But it's a whole different look when you say I love Adonai, my Lord, my master. It shows relationship and that I'm accepting of you as my Lord not just when I'm blessed but also when you discipline me.
I was comfortable with God just being God but I wasn't comfortable with him being my Lord and master because that meant I'd have to submit and as hard as it is to admit that, I had to realize I had an issue with authority and order. I am not a great child, a great servant, a great leader, a great example of Christ unless I'm constantly surrendered.
I've walked in spells of surrender because when it was time to be shaped in the most difficult areas and ways I kept getting off the wheel saying okay God that's enough for now see you this time next year. But he then told me it's impossible to reach the level of success and Destiny I've purposed for you if you can't stay surrendered. This means it's a lifestyle.
The season that I'm in is one where God is pressing me to study more, pray more, save more, serve more, change more, grow more, love more, be pure in heart more, just simply be more and constantly I ask him how do I get to where you've shown me with my purpose? He simply said the things I'm requiring of you now is the road to it immediately. But when you fail to walk in obedience to what I'm requiring of you, you make the process to purpose longer. Trust isn't built because I can't even trust you to discipline yourself as a student to my instructions before you get weary in well doing.
So there are somethings that I must do now to show God that I'm trustworthy of what he has placed in me and I don't take it for granted. But more importantly I'm willing to do the work for what he has called me to do. Maybe you've never realized how much you lack a surrendered heart. Maybe you got off the wheel. Maybe the cares of life rushed you and you never realized you were no longer surrendered.
Or maybe you're like me you just walked away because it got tough. Whatever the reason, I'm telling you It's imperative that you go back to the wheel and surrender. You have stopped what was to be poured out on your behalf because you didn't see the necessity of the surrender. Making God personal in the times of being shaped on the wheel will get you through the process better.
When I say Adonai I reach beyond my feel of being on the wheel and say my Lord, my master do as you will with this vessel. Not my will, but thine. Not my way, but yours. Not my thoughts, but yours. My pain can never become more or greater than my purpose. For if it does I no longer make God personal I simply see him as just an invisible being who keeps allowing me to experience pain.
And instead of seeing the significance in surrender, I'll forever see the frustration and irritation I allow to overtake me because I keep thinking it's about me and my emotions and not the nation's he's purging me for and calling me to. I invite you to join me in surrendering, we've battled God long enough. He needs you as a whole vessel, on the wheel, and with no resistance; not as a unfinished cracked pot that is incapable of carrying anything.
Adonai, I surrender to the will and the wheel.
I've got leaves, but I refuse to have fruit!
Whatever you are consistent and persistent at will be your future. Why? Because nothing changes unless we change. We often blame our circumstances or life happenings for where we are, but truth allows you the reality of knowing how you honestly got there. Life is 10% chance and 80% opportunity.
So be honest with yourself and ask, "what did I choose?" For years I kept wondering, why am I still traveling this same path, this same road, with the same people, and the same end. I then realized I was willingly choosing that path because I allowed my procrastination to be my faith in every area of my life. Procrastination, what is it?
One word, but a powerful one that has ended the God-ordained Purpose of many and crucified the Destiny of others. The enemy loves to whisper and say, "If God called you, why isn't he helping and giving you vision to get there. If I were you I'd be still because you can't move without instruction. God wouldn't want you to be disobedient. You should just wait here until you get a sign."
Can I tell you those are all forms of procrastination. You may be saying, how? It's simple faith equals movement, fear equals procrastination. Procrastination is defined as: the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, to defer, especially something requiring immediate attention.
The enemy is fine with you putting something off because he knows if you keep putting it off you'll remain in the same position and growth will never take place. And because you walk in refusal to growth, you aren't a threat to him. It's odd how we continually move in faith and effort to go to work daily, even when we are sick, may experience an emergency, or terrible weather etc.
But when it comes to dealing spiritually we place the biggest red light in front of ourselves and say don't move. We place red lights where we should be moving and green lights where we should be sitting still. How is it that God can get your attention for a blessing but he can't get your attention to let you know your not moving?
You're too caught up in that destructive relationship, or idolizing your position/career, or maintaining a network God doesn't even exist in, building bridges that should be burned, or creating soul-ties with people who were never God-ties.
What if I told you procrastination is a road you don't want to live on because it has several friends. These friends are, fear, failure, stagnation, depression, pity, lying, dissatisfaction, distraction, sadness, disloyalty, self-righteousness, and so much more.
But we would rather sit at the table with them for dinner and live on the same road as them because "at least I know them, at least I'm familiar with them." Procrastination stops GROWTH. You see, procrastination has a way of bringing your spiritual life and walk to a halt just as well as your physical/natural life.
It starts out as, "I'll do it later," then progresses to " it's not really important and maybe God didn't tell me that," to "I'm not doing that," and lastly you forget about it completely. How will we ever become who we are destined to be if we allow this one enemy to attach itself to us like a cancer and never leaving.
I dare you to evict procrastination now! It's killing you and you don't even realize it. Your dying and it's taking all the greatness out of you. It reminds me of a certain passage in the bible, Mark 11:12-25. In this particular passage Jesus curses a fig tree because of its failure to produce. It also speaks of it not being the season for figs. It had everything, minus the most important thing, fruit.
Normally this particular plant would have fruit whenever you saw its leaves. But this fig tree had plenty of leaves, but no fruit. Because of this a curse was what became of the tree and soon after death. How is it that we keep functioning with just leaves but refuse to carry fruit? Procrastination. Remember, 10% chance and 80% opportunity.
This fig tree had the opportunity to produce but it refused to walk in growth. Sound familiar? How many times has God given us room to grow, leave procrastination, forget fear, and take the opportunity? But instead like the fig tree we refuse to produce. We would rather look the part than be the part. We would rather have the leaves and APPEAR to have the fruit.
But when someone takes a closer look and realizes we don't have the fruit to go with the leaves we become angry because they've picked up on our procrastination and complacency. Now you're forced to deal with truth and produce or remain in partiality and die. TRUTH, let's walk in it and grow again.
You've got too much to do, so being stuck isn't optional. Stop choosing chance over opportunity. MOVE! Stop just bearing leaves and no fruit! Forsake procrastination and go! Ask God for his grace to move in fear as it becomes faith! Don't delay what's in front of you any longer. You've put growth off long enough! Let's watch each other move and bear fruit to go with our leaves!
I can't be the fig tree anymore, I need fruit with my leaves.
Elevation and Acceleration
My most challenging and questionable moments have always been when I sit before the Lord and he reveals to me who I am. So much so that I tend to run away and hide, afraid of what he has shown me. Sometimes fear overtakes me and I find myself sinking because I've allowed the task at hand to become a burden instead of a bridge. God has placed so much within me that I'm incredibly amazed while also feeling extremely doubtful of carrying something so immeasurable.
Have you ever been faced with uncertainty, doubt, fear, the unknown, or feeling as though you're incapable, and lack the capacity to house something so magnificent/massive? Well, I have constantly throughout my life. Not only is He revealing the greatness within but my Spirit is moving at a speed my mind and flesh have yet to comprehend. It's almost as if God wants me in a certain place by a certain time.
And can I tell you that because it's sort of hard to soak it all in, I've dealt with depression, stress, and moments of feeling unqualified for the gifts within. But recently I've found that there is only one reason for all this... I'll tell you the reason in just a moment. Let's take a look at a certain text first! 1 Kings 19:11-13 says, "11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.
And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
That reason is FOCUS! First, allow me to give you the background history of this story so you'll understand where we are going. Elijah housed a very great gift, he was a prophet, a prophet of God to be exact. But in a very critical moment in his Destiny a certain woman named Jezebel snatched his FOCUS. Elijah had just seen God do the miraculous and instead of continuing to trust in the God who sent and called him, he became afraid. In short, the people of Israel believed that baal was a god and he could do anything.
In fact they believe in him so much that he actually had 450 prophets. In order to change the mindset of the people because they had been deeply deceived, Elijah made a suggestion. The suggestion was they each were to take a bull, place it on wood, but put no fire to it. Elijah would call on his God and the people who believed in baal would call on him. Which ever God responded by sending fire would be GOD. The people agreed to Elijah's suggestion. The people cried for a response from baal from morning until noon.
Guess what? He never showed up. While they were doing all this crying out, chanting, and cutting themselves, the altar Elijah built had been thrown down and so he rebuilt it. After rebuilding it he had them pour water on it several times! Let's take note that it's kinda hard to start a fire with anything that's been soaked in water. Elijah began his request of the Lord to show up and let everyone know that he indeed was God! God answered him and showed up with fire and consumed everything on the altar Elijah had placed there.
When the people of Israel saw this they fell on their faces and agreed that the God of Elijah was indeed the God and Lord of all. After this, Elijah had the prophets of baal seized and slaughtered. Okay so here is another crucial part in the story. When Jezebel found out about what Elijah did she sent word to him and said that she would kill him. Now you'd think that after Elijah witnessed along with the people and the prophets of baal how great God is, that Jezebel and her threats would be irrelevant.
Instead he became fearful, lost FOCUS, and went into a cave. He wanted to give up and even wanted to die. Its so odd how when we are faced with an issue we would rather run away instead of running toward the one who can handle what's troubling us. If only Elijah would've allowed his gift to speak louder than his fear he would've realized that Jezebel made a "threat" but she was never a "THREAT" to him. This is something the enemy does to us entirely too often and we fall for it as though the blood of Jesus has not already conquered our enemy!
After Elijah was done with being emotional and allowing his feelings to over take him the Lord called out to him. He told Elijah to go out of the cave and stand on the mount. Here is one of the most important parts of this story, I don't want you to miss this because what we are about to see is that when we lose FOCUS, get in our emotions/feelings, become fearful and afraid, we miss God and misinterpret where he is and what he's doing. Now we are back at our text!
A strong wind came and tore the mountains and broke the rocks into pieces. Next was an earthquake and after that a fire! The Lord was in none of that! That's kinda surprising if you think about it. Instead he was in a low whisper that said, "Elijah, what are you doing here?" So many times we become afraid of what's in front of us and unless something big, incredible, and miraculous is happening we feel as though God hasn't heard our cry or plea for help and that he won't show up. Can I tell you that all of my not so great small moments is where and when I saw God move the most.
Why? Because when I allowed my flesh to respond to what was going on around me I didn't get a response from God. But when I silenced myself and soul before him is when I felt and knew I heard him the most. Nothing grand happened, it was just as he called out to Elijah in a low whisper. Allot of times we miss God because if he doesn't show up like we planned it out in our heads, BIG, then we give up. But what if he's just waiting for you to sit quietly before him so he can exchange your fear for confidence in him, the God who is more than capable of keeping his promise and very incapable of lying!
I believe this is why God asked Elijah why he was there. It wasn't that God didn't have a clue on what was going on but he needed Elijah to see that when you took your FOCUS off of me you devalued the gift I placed in you and assumed I left you to do this alone. In our times of uncertainty the Lord will never cease to show us that the impossible is very much possible with him. Don't ever allow people and experiences to make you run from what's in you! The kingdom and the world needs you to push, press, and pursue Destiny.
What if Elijah never challenged the people's belief in God? What if he simply said God I can't do this I don't want to do this, choose someone else? What if he said I'm not qualified? We tell God all the reasons of why we can't instead of seeing that he chose you because you were an available and willing vessel, just as Elijah was! I want to challenge myself and you as well. We fight ourselves entirely too much because of fear. Fear produces complacency, stagnation, and disobedience. Whatever the Lord is requiring of you and whatever he has placed in you must come out and its needed NOW!
You keep throwing away time like you have it to waste! How long will you look for him in the wind, fire, and earthquake instead of the low whisper. You're afraid of what people may think if you actually did what God called you to do and if truth be told someone is waiting on you to be bold enough to walk out your purpose and gifts so they'll gain the courage to do the same. It's time to grow up so let's tuck our emotions in our pockets and listen to the whisper.
You may be saying but Brittney I don't even know how I'll get to what God has told me he created me to do. I have the answer to that! The moment you give him an unwavered yes is when he will show you step by step how he'll release you to get there. I know I mention an unwavered yes constantly and its not an easy task to do. But it's the key to unlock what's within you. If you keep trying to comprehend it mentally you place this heavy weight upon yourself that becomes a burden you weren't built to carry. Then you end up thinking you have to do it all alone.
A very special person in my life recently told me this, "The gifts aren't yours, they belong to the Lord." So the pressure isn't on you to deliver or perform. It's on God. He just needs a willing and available vessel to show and bring forth his glory. Will you be that one? If so strap your seatbelt on because things are about to move quickly and you have to be ready! This is a season of release and he wants to release you so far into Destiny that you don't even have room to comprehend all that he will do in and through you!
I choose to be a GLORY carrier!
Your Strength Isn't Good Enough!
"When I seek to do good evil is always present." Now in all honesty I have grown to learn that unless I daily submit to God in every area of my life (my devotional time, my relationship with him, prayer, fasting, my gifts, my strengths, my weakness, my past, my money, my lack of knowledge, my judgment, my fear, my comfortable places, my uncomfortable places etc) I lack the power to control my flesh, thoughts, and struggles.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm losing the battle, I'm in the pit, and my thoughts and faith are being held captive by a foreign enemy. As I begin to write today before I could even type my next word God reminded me of this scripture:
2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
Have you ever conquered something, only to be tested in that same area immediately again? Well since you won't raise your hand, I'll raise both of mine. One for you and the other for me because I know I'm not alone. Here's my reality. Right now I'm struggling with discipline, literally in every area of my life. If truth be told I never knew how horrible I was at it until I reached the current season God has me in.
Have I always lacked discipline? More than likely. Was I always aware of it? Definitely not. But since I have been awakened to this issue I have been trying to micromanage it. And guys the results are in....I FAILED MISERABLY. With this particular struggle I placed my trust, hope, and faith in myself because I became too comfortable with the WINS God has been allowing me to gain in one of the most favorable seasons of my life.
To sum it up you could say my lack of discipline plus me being comfortable divided by me not acknowledging God in all things equals cockiness/arrogance at its best. You may ask, how so? It's simple. When we think we know it all and can do it all we insult the spirit and character of God and make him out to be just another random individual. We know we need his leading and guiding in every moment, but we act as though we are too good to ask.
Some days I could just slap myself because I know better. I honestly feel like while I was conquering, tackling, and winning in one area of my life I lost focus on another area because I thought, well I've conquered that already so it doesn't need much attention anymore. Only for the enemy to come in and sneak me! How many times have we allowed our thoughts to over power the voice of God in our lives?
How many times do we question his will and because it doesn't make sense currently, we choose our own way instead? You see the scripture above places every thing into the right perspective. It's saying I have to cast down those thoughts. In fact it says everything/every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.
That means I have to cast down my flesh/thoughts that speak to me and say I don't need to include God on this idea or issue because I can handle it. We sometimes allow our flesh to feed us false hope and when the results don't look like what we thought we become upset with God. The truth is we should be upset with ourselves and the fact that we gave in to those thoughts.
The last part of the scripture speaks on bringing those same thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ. Here it is! We are given two key things to do in this scripture. First casting down the thoughts that exalt themselves above the knowledge of God and then bringing them into captivity to the obedience of Christ. That lets me know that I can cast my thoughts down all day but if I don't subject those same thoughts to the obedience of Christ I still won't conquer them.
In order to win I have to be responsible. You may say well what does that have to do with your discipline issue? Glad you asked! One of the fruit of the spirit is self-control. Self- control is control or restraint of oneself or ones actions and feelings. You see as long as my flesh is in control, I'm out of control. But as long as God is in control, he gives me the power and authority to control my flesh/thoughts.
So here it is in short, I GIVE UP! I give up on trying it my way! I give up on micromanaging it my way! I give up on trying to control myself! I give up on lying to myself as though I have it all together in my head but reality is sin has me ensnared without God. No I'm not fornicating, no I'm not living in homosexuality, no I'm not holding hate in my heart, and no I'm not stealing etc.
But guess what? All sin is equal in the eyesight of God and my lack of discipline is equal to the rest of the sins listed above. The thing with sin is that once you commit one sin it leads to another sin and then another and before you know it you're doing everything you said you'd never do. The problem with my lack of discipline/self control is that it brought about disobedience and the problem with disobedience is that it seduced and enticed me to lie to myself and the problem with lying to myself is that I walked in arrogance as though I could handle the task of discipline on my own and the problem with arrogance is that I exalted those thoughts against the knowledge of God.
It was then that I realized the only thing that was holding me up was GRACE. I was standing on the shoulders of grace and needed to be awakened to the depth of what I thought was working but really only fed my flesh temporarily while my spirit man laid near by gasping for air. Maybe you don't share the same issue as me. Maybe your struggle is far beyond my imagination.
But can I tell you that if we both agree to surrender ourselves and issues to God by obeying this scripture things will change. All of our challenges aren't outwardly instead some are inwardly and we must first deal with what's within in order to become one with our Destiny. I beg of you to acknowledge God in everything. How many times was the win/blessing right in front of us but we never stopped to ask "God what do you think?"
Don't go beating yourself up like I did instead take the high road to casting down those thoughts that tell you all the negative things that go against the will and knowledge of God. Will it be easy? I just started today and I can tell you from experience, GEESH, No! But worth it? Oh YES! Because when we are weak, he is strong and when/where temptation exist there the way of escape also exist.
So before you say it's too tough, join in with me and let's defeat our struggle with God during the process instead of waiting until the process has defeated us and including God as the last option. I challenge you to step up, get in the game, shoot the ball, and defeat this giant in your life. You have someone waiting on you to win so they can win!
Losing the old me so I can find Destiny within me!
The Treasure Within...
So over the last few months I've broken a generational curse and I'm in the process of breaking down more barriers that keep me from being who I am destined to be. I don't want to create my own path to success I want Gods ordained destined path of success for me.
How'd I do it? I changed my mind, my thoughts, and my habits! I want to help you change yours so you don't miss the important lesson in the season that your in. For years fear, failure, lack, and doubt had meetings about me! Guess what? I was present at all the meetings.
I would raise my hand and agree with each one of them about my life, my decisions, and how remaining the same was best because at least I knew the results from being the same. So let's be real and clear. I spent the last 27 and half years of my life meeting with these four that I never realized I received an invitation to meet with success, faith, hope, peace, and triumph!
I bet your wondering when I got that invitation, well let me tell you! I got that invitation the day I entered the world strictly because of my potential. The potential God himself placed in me! I have had the invitation so long that millions of opportunities have missed me because I never opened it up. But can I tell you about GRACE!
GRACE, met me when and where I didn't deserve another opportunity because I let all the previous ones pass me by. But Grace said here is another chance, another opportunity, some more favor, another opened door just change your mindset! You see your waiting on success to find you and it already has because it's in you! You just need it be awakened to it!
Revelation is your activation and faith is your currency! We wait for success and to overcome different challenges when we already possess what we need on the inside of us! Here's how I changed my mind and went to another level of faith. Can I be honest? My environment didn't change, my finances didn't change, and neither did the people around me!
In fact, I watched myself shift into a whole different season from those around me in a short period of time! I increased my prayer time to 3 times a day, I did detail study on faith and sowing seeds, I declared out loud the scriptures I studied over my life every morning and night, and I gave constantly with the right attitude! And where I saw good ground I didn't hesitate to sow BIG!
The scriptures changed my thought process and stretched my faith and the more I declared them, the more I believed them. The more I believed, the more I activated my faith. The more I activated my faith, The more I saw the hand of God. The more I saw the hand of God, the more strength I gained to walk out the strategy God had given me. The more I walked out the strategy daily is when I saw the manifestation of what I saw in the spiritual realm reach the natural realm!
Fear had me afraid to reach my potential and Destiny because it requires me to go into unknown and unfamiliar territory but faith opened up my capacity, it opened up the treasure within me that the bible speaks of, (We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:7) and immediately what I needed, I found within myself because I was awakened to potential that produced Destiny!
When are you going to let go of fear? When will you Let go of failure? When will you stop living through your past? When will you stop trying to be like every one else and be the unique you God created you to be? When will you faith it, instead of faking it? When will you use heavens currency instead of what's in your hands?
And if you'd be honest with yourself what's in your hands keeps failing you, frustrating you, and irritating you because it's not enough! So since you're still indecisive about whether or not you want faith over fear and success over failure, I declare that as you read this from beginning to end that a burning desire for change in a godly direction begins to meet you daily until you grab hold of it and you see the promises of God overtake you as you pray and speak the word over your life daily!
What are you waiting for? You're already powerful, successful, prosperous, and anointed for the call! Find the treasure within and get the revelation to work your potential in every season of your life! You already have what you need to do it! You already have the finances, the ability, and the information!
Anything else you need I declare its about to chase you down and find you and open the doors for you! It is so in Jesus name! Amen! You have to do it differently this time if you want kingdom results! Search/seek after God and the you he placed you in the earth to be!
I changed my mind about my destiny!
What took Your Eyesight?
Sunday my pastor's teaching came from Joshua chapter 7. Immediately after he read the first verse and begin to go into detail on the text, the Lord started speaking to me. It was only a few words but these few words have been ringing in my head for a few days consistently. They are: "What took away your eyesight?"
Let's jump right in and take a look at Joshua 7:1.
"But the Israelites were unfaithful in regard to the devoted things, Achan son Karmi, the son of Zimri, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of them. So the Lord's anger burned against Israel."
Now we will go to the previous chapter to get some background information on what's going on. Joshua chapter 6:18-19. "But keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it. All the silver and gold and articles of bronze and iron are sacred to the Lord and must go into his treasury."
Okay so here we go! Our person of focus is Achan. The entire camp was given strict instruction on what they were to do with the things that were suppose to be devoted to the Lord once the Lord gave them the city (Jericho.) But Achan decides that he would take some of what was to be devoted to the Lord for himself. As you go further into the chapter we find out that Joshua sent spies to Ai which was another region. The spies came back and told Joshua, we can take this city, only a few people live there.
Send two or three thousand men to take it, no need to worry the whole army. They underestimated the people of Ai and some of them were even killed. This was the result of Achan's sin and disobedience. The Israelites became fearful and Joshua tore his clothes and began to talk to the Lord. He asked him why he allowed them to be defeated. The Lord responded and said, "Israel has sinned against me; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep."
"They have taken some of the devoted things, they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemy." A few verses later God says whoever is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. This person has violated the covenant of the Lord and has done an outrageous thing in Israel.
As I keep listening the Lord is still saying, "What took away your eyesight?" Of course I ask, "what do you mean God?" He begins to explain to me how Achan's spiritual sight left him because he was pleased by, distracted by, and lusted after what belonged to the Lord. And I immediately say, "okay God where are you going with this?"
He says, Brittney weeks ago I revealed to you the depth of your gifts and purpose and you have yet to focus in on what I've called you to because you've allowed what you see with your natural eyes just as Achan did to steal your attention.
You haven't taken from me in the same aspect as Achan did but you've taken my presence for granted. You value how you feel more than you value what I need from you. When will you realize your feelings aren't consistent? When will you realize that my presence always surrounds you but you're too distracted to notice it because you've become entangled in the things of life.
When was the last time you went searching for me once I revealed to you the things of your destiny? You allowed fear to grip you and you ran. You ran away without realizing the work isn't on you, it's on me but your flesh told you, you would have to do it alone.
Brittney I miss you and I still need what I've placed in you to come out so the world can be changed. You've taken the time you devoted to me and given it to other people and things. DISTRACTIONS, DISTRACTIONS, DISTRACTIONS! It was the taking of what was devoted to me that kindled my anger toward Israel. Never decrease in who you are and what I've called you to because of fear.
Achan lost his sight. He was suppose to be focused on the battle but instead what was in his mind became apart of his heart and he took from me and disobeyed my instructions. He caused everyone in his camp to suffer a defeat from an army much smaller than them because he chose his desires over obedience. Obedience is better than sacrifice. I need you to get back on my path and remember the yes you gave me. I need your gifts and purpose now!
Often times we depend more on our natural eyesight more than our spiritual eyesight, all while forgetting that our flesh is deceitful and not dependable. God asked what took my sight because I became so distracted with things that I didn't do what he told me to do.
Instead I chose disobedience because it was convenient and allowed me to relax in my ignorance because it was comfortable. The bible says if you love me, you'll keep my commandments. We as believers have to be willing to let go of our distractions in order to see spiritually.
Satan is doing everything he can to challenge the mind of the believer with issues, distractions, problems, thoughts, and even disobedience. We give in because of fear and we push away what God is requiring of us because it will cause us to have to deal with the areas we are slacking in, in order for us to operate in the things of the kingdom of God. So whatever it is that your distracted by, whatever it is that has taken your sight, whatever it is your lusting after, whatever it is that keeps enticing you to look else where and not to God...
I challenge you right now to let go of it and get back in position! Achan caused the camp a defeat it didn't have to experience because of his eyesight. He even brought death upon himself because of what his eyesight caused him to look at.
This morning as I was praying God was revealing to me how he needs the church to get back in position but they can't because of their eyesight. Things of the world have crept into the hearts of the believers and instead of us ridding ourselves of things that aren't Christ like we wrap them in blankets and shelter it, nurture it, and feed it.
God is saying I need a sight change/repentance to take place with the body of believers and then I will release to them that which I'm ready to do in the earth that will cause those who serve me to be Victors instead of victims. Achan took what was to be devoted to the Lord. Have you taken what belongs to God? What about the time you were suppose to spend with him? But you were too tired.
What about the time he needed you to listen and open your heart but you wanted to watch your favorite show or go to sleep? What about that time he needed to speak with you but your so entangled in your new relationship/friendship that you say God can wait.
We have to stop pausing the things of God in our lives because of our desire to please ourselves more than we want to please him. Let's be the church who gives God what is devoted to him instead of our sloppy left overs or nothing at all.
I can't be Achan, my purpose needs my eyesight!
"Chosen in One Season, But Not Used Until the Next Season"
"So Jesse sent for him. He was dark and handsome, with beautiful eyes. And the LORD said, “This is the one; anoint him.” So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David from that day on." 1 Samuel 16:12-13
So once again I'm in an uncomfortable place. You'd think that my brain would comprehend what my spirit already knows. That is, being comfortable equals complacency and being uncomfortable provokes change, growth, and maturity. It's the only way we will get to where God has purposed us. But what happens when God reveals who you really are?
Your excited about how incredibly amazing it is that the creator thought enough of you to choose you but slightly afraid to step out of the boat into the water because the deep is where you drown out Your flesh and all of who God is becomes you. So Your faced with the battle of do I embrace what I've now been awakened to or do I just settle for what I already know and have. My greatest and most challenging moments were the moments that sky rocketed me into purpose more so than I could have ever imagined.
I didn't realize I was being prepared. We always hear the saying, "God will never call you without equipping you." But no one tells you that you may be chosen in one season of your life, then God hides you in the next season of your life while he reveals things to you, and sometimes he won't call you or use you until a few seasons later because he's preparing and equipping you. So let's go to 1 Samuel 16! Here we find the story of David, the person I seemingly relate to more and more in the season that God has me in. Here we find that God has rejected the current king and has sent the prophet to anoint his successor.
Although God had rejected the current king he was not immediately dismissed from his position. The more I read the more I understand that this was because God was preparing his successor, walking and talking with him, and revealing to him Who he was. The prophet went to look for the next king but the issue was that many came before him but God didn't choose them so the prophet was not released to anoint them. But there was one! He was tending to the sheep in the field and the prophet sent for him and waited for him to arrive.
The Lord told the prophet that the shepherd boy was the one and that he was to anoint him. So he anointed him, no one saw this as being special, they simply thought well maybe he's anointing him because he's called to be a prophet too. But what no one realized is that he was being anointed to become the next king. Mind you the shepherd boy is still in his teens. So after this the shepherd boy returns to his sheep but the spirit of God is with him and never leaves him. This is where God begin to minister to me.
Just as David was chosen and anointed for a purpose and it didn't appear to anyone that he was walking in it because he returned to his sheep, so it is the same with you. I called him but I had to prepare him. Allot of times when we don't see our selves immediately operating in what God called us to we become discouraged and feel as though maybe God forgot and we are no longer chosen for the job but might I remind you of something? David didn't immediately become the king "title" wise but he did through his preparation because he accomplished things with God that no one witnessed but his sheep.
He fought and killed lions and bears for attacking his sheep. He spoke with God constantly and daily, he formed relationship, he practice aiming at targets with his sling shot until he was able to hit what he aimed for and I believe David didn't even realize that these very moments and conflicts he faced as a shepherd boy would be his resume for being what he was anointed for, a king. Watch this!
David wasn't necessarily moved by the title of king in fact although he was chosen to become the next king I believe had it been out of season which would have been without preparation David would've never defeated goliath or accomplished so many great things while king. The seasons before he became king prepared and equipped him for being a king. Without those season David would've failed miserably.
It's no mistake that maybe God revealed to you years ago that you were to operate in a certain area of ministry or he gifted you with a particular gift. You don't understand or see it. You keep trying to figure out why you keep conquering an issue only to move to the next issue not realizing it's your process of preparation. My God! I'm sorry I just got excited! Don't let what you see make you forget that you were chosen.
David didn't let the fact that after he was anointed for a position and he was going back to what he was previously doing to get in the way of Him being chosen. Instead I believed he realized, this bear and lion that I fought and killed is how I know I'll be able to kill this giant with a simple aim from my sling shot. Not because I'm great but because the one who trained me while I was just a shepherd boy is GREATER.
David was already king in his heart and he was simply waiting for his reality to catch up with his vision! What is it that you keep battling that's keeping you from defeating the lion, bear, and giant to get you to what God chose you for seasons ago that your now prepared to walk into? It's time for us to stop refusing what God has called us to because we feel we aren't ready. If he called you, Your ready.
David was confident that he could conquer goliath because God had already allowed him to conquer two great big animals as a boy and David trusted God enough to say to himself if he was with me as a shepherd he will be with me when I face this giant and as I accept my position as king! I don't know what your going through but I don't want to talk to you, I want to speak to your spirit man and let you know that what you have dealt with and conquered in your previous seasons is about to sky rocket you into the next season of your purpose because your prepared and God can trust you!
Gather all the tools you need and invest in your gifts because your reality is about to catch up with your destiny and you will walk in what you have been ordained for! No more doubt, no more fear, you defeated the bear now defeat the giant! Walk by faith and not by sight! It's your turn, you got NEXT!
I'm a giant slayer and I'm equipped for my purpose NOW!
Be Thou Made Whole...
When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?
So it's a few days after Valentine's day, the "LOVE" day and God has been dealing with me about being whole and "living before an audience of one. Here's my story... The last few years I've entered into Valentine's with a relationship or calling up an ex whom I know still would be interested in me in whatever way I offered myself to them, all so I could feel a since of gratification and validation. I wasn't interested in their feelings I was only interested in not being alone, dealing with my truths, and proving to others I have a Valentine too! (I'll raise my hand because I know I'm the only one in the world who has ever done such a thing.)
Here's an example of how far I'd go, especially if it was an ex I allowed to take me out. You know we as human beings love to make contact with each other based on our emotions at the time. So the guy I allowed to take me out would expect at least a kiss or hug and sometimes even more if he spent time and money on me. So I found myself in positions where my need for gratification and validation made me feel all the yucky moments when your not into someone but you force yourself to be to make them feel better since they validated what you needed at that moment. So immature and ignorant, I know.
It would always get to the point of the guy kissing and hugging me and I had major issues with that. If you know me I'm not big on kissing or hugging unless I'm in a relationship and I'm really into you. So my normal routine would be no on kissing and a hand shake in the place of hugging. That way there were no emotions exchanged and I didn't have to "pretend" I loved you on Valentine's day just because you gave me the gratification and validation I needed for a day. Well this eventually became an issue because the guy would want more and I felt the need to play the part since they played the part in validating me.
So I would force myself to go ahead and kiss them but in my mind I'm screaming YUCK so loud that it was ridiculous all while the guy I'm kissing was finding pleasure in what we were doing which in turn would lead to him asking if we could hang out again. This would make me irritated because that's not how I planned things in my head.
He was suppose to just take me out, make me feel a certain way about myself for a day and then we could go back to not knowing each other and not talking. Valentine's day wasn't the only day I did this it seemed to happened around the important holidays such as Christmas and thanksgiving etc. No, I was not desperate enough to the extreme that I needed someone for presidents day or MLK day. Lol
There was pressure from family constantly because they ask all the same questions each year, "are you dating? When are you getting married? When are you going to start a family? Etc" and those questions make you ask yourself "well when am I?" And it puts you in a place of having a new guy/girl on your arm every holiday just so you won't be asked those questions. And because you aren't whole you continue in a cycle of on and off dating and going from relationship to relationship broken. You're so broken that you don't even realize the person your with is broken because you each thrive off of each other's broken pieces to create a sense of wholeness because you know something is missing.
My truth is something happened to me a little before Christmas 2016. One of my ex contacted me and asked to see me and I said yes even though I knew God was changing me and renewing me in many areas and I could tell he was purging me. Well we end up going back to his place and anyone who me knows, knows I'm not big on fancy things I'm big on time. In my head we were friends in his head, I couldn't even tell you. But he wanted to sit super close to me and hold me etc while we are watching a movie. You know the stuff you do in relationships.
He was talking for hours at a time during the movie and I wouldn't listen because it had no substance. Instead I watched his body language. His body language told me he wanted all the things that involved commitment without commitment. So in my mind I'm becoming angry because I felt used. But that anger ceased before it could get to a boiling point because the holy spirit said Brittney you've done this to him several times and now you are just being met with the reality of your own actions. So while the holy spirit is talking this guy falls asleep and instantly I feel that's my opportunity to leave. Only to run into one issue. I wanted to leave with him still asleep.
Unfortunately that was impossible because he had the kind of lock on his door that you could only lock with a key. So I ended up waking him (geesh) and he asked why I was leaving and I immediately said because your sleep and its late but that wasn't the reason. The real reason was my conviction was eating me up and the holy spirit was still talking and it was Just a little too much for me to take in. It was really the fact that I begin to see myself through his actions and I didn't like what I saw and how the same validation I made him give me he made me give him without me even realizing it and although I felt used I understood it was a seed I'd sown that was coming up.
Fast forward to the last few days of 2016 the Lord is dealing with me strongly and I'm telling him I want something different and that I wanted his way and not mine. Not just with my guy issues but my whole life in general because what I did in all of 2016 and years prior didn't work for me financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically, attitude wise, or church wise and definitely not relationship wise with God.
I was done playing the game of I'll serve you today but tomorrow I'll serve Brittney because my mood will be different tomorrow. Or feeling like im in a love-hate relationship with God when it's really with myself because I'm angry at him for not answering certain prayers and allowing me to experience things that I knew were key to my Destiny all along I just wasn't up for the challenge when it seemed everyone else around me was excelling and prospering and Jesus has me in the pit with Joseph.
I said all of that to say this. I had to make a decision about my wholeness, purpose/Destiny, and if I wanted continue to battle with God or surrender. So at the beginning of the year my pastor told our entire church we were going on a fast. My mind rushed to "oh joy, thumbs down" even though my spirit was tugging at me as though this is something I needed desperately. I use to look at a fast and just think about how I achieved something if I was just able to deny myself the food. But this time I was able to see it as this is about denying my validation, my brokenness, my gratification, my attitude, my will, my thoughts, my actions etc all in exchange for the things of God.
The first few days were the toughest because I had gotten so use to Brittney, Brittney, Brittney that I had to reprogram myself to submit to God. The pastor continuously poured into us continually week after week in bible study during the fast but one story he taught on gave me deep insight that blew me away and brought an immediate change for me, that was the entire story of Daniel. I knew the story, but I had never heard it taught in such a way where I literally felt like I was walking through Daniels story with him. This fast was the beginning of me living before an audience of one. Before, I was so caught up on what Brittney wanted and what others thought that I felt I needed to please myself and others before I pleased God.
As long as I felt good and others saw me as good then of course God should see me as good, right? No, so not the case. God saw me as someone he loved deeply but daily I refused his love because I wanted a love that I could see "physically" vs. one that was seemingly invisible. Well while on this fast God begin to deal with me and show me myself all while constantly telling me and showing me he loved me with an eternal never ending love. That love did for me what no holiday, no human, and no validation from a man could ever do. I'm in love with Brittney, flaws and all and I know that although it hurts to allow God to handle and purge me of my brokenness the excitement and joy is in my wholeness.
Because when your whole, you see your worth though Christ and you never settle again for the applause of others but you reach for the approval of Christ even when it cost you relationships, friendships, family, and contact with those who use to bring you gratification. This was by no means easy but I can honestly say I'm in love with the God I serve and the process/season he has me in. I love who I am and because of my love for myself and the love of God this year I was able to embrace my singleness and feel excited for others instead of being jealous of them in my heart because they had something I didn't have on a man-made holiday.
My living before an audience of one and that audience is Jesus brought me more validation than I could've ever hoped for because I trust that in his timing I'll experience love with an individual but for now I'm in love with Christ the one who has done far beyond what any man can do, he sacrificed his life so that I wouldn't just know of his love but I'd experience it daily. I like living for an audience of one because those little tugs I get from God saying, "Brittney I'm proud of you for overcoming that or this or you did good by responding as I would" does so much for me that daily and minute by minute I long to please him more because when he's pleased, that's my success! What about you?
Did this last holiday create a sense of deeper love for your heavenly father or envy, hate, and jealously because of what you didn't have. We look on social media and all we get is a picture with words that seemingly show how much someone else has over us and we immediately begin to operate in a spirit of comparison thinking their life is so much better than ours all from looking at a picture when if you were able to see their reality, you'd see a woman so damaged from previous relationships that she accepts anything in the current relationship and being cheated on is her norm.
We allow the enemy to paint pictures in our mind not realizing he is full of deception and lies but because we aren't whole we accept his deception and become angry with God because we want a picture on social media too so we can pretend. That's not what God wants for you. He doesn't want you to pretend, he doesn't want you with moments of happiness, and he doesn't want you seeking after a love from an individual who will never love you like he can if they don't have relationship with him.
So right now I'm willing to walk this path with you and reassure you on your journey that wholeness is what you need even though your flesh still wants to choose brokenness. Deny yourself for a greater version of you! My prayer is that you choose to live before an audience of one and in your choosing you become whole and you begin to see that you don't need someone to complete you because when God formed you in your mother's womb you were already a complete being. And I'm here cheering you on as we both celebrate our wholeness and as we continually give every part of ourselves over to our father!
A whole heart, experiencing God's love and faithfulness daily
The Tainted Image- Reflection is Everything
Have you ever had a passion for something but had the most difficult time doing it because your heart and brain wouldn't cooperate? I can say this is pretty much me in a nutshell right now. The more I seek to be closer to God and actually gain closeness with him, the more there's this mirror of me I dislike. It's more of a reflection of how my flesh has outweighed my spirit because I chose my own desires and will instead of God's desire and will for me. Most of my prayers the last few months have been "God rid me of everything that's not like you, show me myself, I wanna be a reflection of you in the earth etc."
Well he kinda had a funny way of answering my bold and consistent prayer because instead of him doing the work for me, he's simply been showing me who I am, what my heart looks like, what my thoughts are, and how my actions aren't his actions. Allot of times we avoid asking God to answer those type of prayers because we don't really want to see ourselves we just want to pray a prayer that sounds good. I've also been asking him how do I get to where he showed me in a vision about my purpose.
His response was "what's in your mirror has to become who I AM so that when I place you where I have destined you, your no longer battling on my will or your will." My reflection in the mirror showed me 3 major things that I despise. I value what God has placed in me too much to refuse the process of being healed from these 3 things. Sadly they are: lack of confidence, lack of self love, and being an attention seeker. Neither of these things would help me function properly in my purpose without hurting someone else.
Often times we never take the time to look in the mirror because we are afraid of what we may see. But over the last few days I've realized that being afraid to look in the mirror is why I'm afraid to face the crowd. We're okay as long as no one notices our flaws or short comings but no one can see Christ in your mirror if it's broken, tainted, and dirty. The only way we can clean our own mirror is through relationship (consistent prayer life and consistent reading of God's word.) Many times I've prayed and read my bible, but neither had a sense of direction. It was just done out of routine.
We can't pray general prayers for our lives and expect a detailed answer to those prayers. By me allowing God to show me my reflection in the mirror I was able to touch and speak on specific areas in prayer and find scriptures that dealt with my issues. The view in my mirror caused me to break a routine and cycle that was holding me hostage from my purpose. We want God to give give give while we never heal heal heal. My mirror didn't become dirty over night. It was with time because instead of me dealing with how my image in the mirror became tainted I just became satisfied with seeing parts of me that appeared whole in the mirror but were actually damaged along with the rest of me.
More and more I realized my truth. But this truth only comes by being open and willingly admitting that your mirror doesn't look like Christ. James 1:23-24 says, "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." I was trying to avoid my mirror because as humans it pains us to see our own personal flaws up close. But what helps me push beyond that daily is that I can be free from what once kept me in bondage and I don't have to be afraid.
So instead of feeding my cravings I saw in the mirror that tainted my reflection, I started feeding my spirit with the word, my thoughts with the word, and praying for the heart and mind of Christ. It's a day to day process, but I walk in the freedom of knowing that when I refuse to "gratify my flesh" I'm choosing to have a clean mirror that reflects all of Christ and none of me.
Religion and Routine
I was watching a video on YouTube called "from perversion to purity" and my mind began to go back to my last ex. The one I thought I would marry and we were on the road to that. We've been broken up for about a year and a few months and I never understood really why we didn't work. The only issue we had was communication and the desire for sex was there. Outside of that we were fine. While all of this is running through my mind while watching the video, God gave me an answer on why we didn't work.
He said, if I allowed you to marry him, he would've been marrying the fake Brittney that you became instead of the Brittney I designed you to be in your purpose. You haven't stepped into the real you yet! My family is real religious and routine and when I say family I mean more than just my immediate family. So I once carried that same spirit unintentionally. Because early on I despised it and couldn't understand why we just couldn't deal with or touch certain subjects. But constantly growing up I knew I had a call on my life and God didn't want that same religious and routine path from me.
So at the age of 25 (in 2014) I finally accepted the call from God on my life and became a minister. You have to understand this wasn't an easy ride to just wake up and say ok I'm going to do what you called me to. I battled it for months without anyone knowing. I rejected it for months without anyone knowing because I have a family already full of ministers and I didn't want to be the next in the family and neither did I want religion. I wanted relationship. But I finally gave God a yes and it wasn't a yes to ministry because I was already in ministry.
I lead praise and worship. It was a yes that said ok God if I do this I'm not gonna be fake I'm not going to stretch the truth I have to be real even if it cost me my family. (Boy did those exact words come back up two years later) So by the time me and this particular guy got together (in 2015) he was the first guy who actually accepted me as a minister and I had already done my first sermon and received my license so in my mind the hard part was over and he had to be the right guy since he accepted that part of me because others didn't.
Only for things to come crashing down early at the beginning of 2016 because he became shut off and distant out of no where for weeks at a time and I had to make a decision to let it go because there was no contact being made. This break up happened in January of 2016. So I'm in the process of getting over and grieving this relationship only to reach February 2016 and God allows total chaos and confusion. There was a break down in my family unit and in the church. My grandma was the assistant pastor, my uncle was the pastor, my mom was a minister as well, the pastor's wife who was my aunt was a minister, the pastor's daughter who was my cousin was a minister and so many of my other family members attended the church and were in the choir, a deacon and or ushers.
God had released to me years prior to this moment that I would leave the church and every time before when I wanted to leave God said no wait. But this particular Sunday I remember as if it were today. It was my first Sunday back in a while. I was the praise and worship leader but my job required me to work some Sundays which I hated. But it was God getting me out of routine to open my eyes about how I saw church, ministry and my family. This particular day was like none other. I was exhausted from work all week. I believe I opened the service up, I lead praise and worship and I also sat in the pulpit that morning.
I was sitting in the pulpit praying trying to focus on what the pastor was preaching but I was angry and distracted. Something's had gone on before service in the minister's room and with my family and I was fighting to move beyond it so I wouldn't become a distraction to others. So finally I let it go and I'm able to receive what is being said in the sermon. Church ends and I'm greeted in the hallway by my cousin who is a minister saying she wanted to meet with me and the head musician. My brain was screaming what now because it was always an issue that I as the leader of the praise team had to step in an address.
The issue now was that someone said I said something that I didn't and they didn't like it. So we meet in the conference room and she hits me with somebody said. Well by this time I'm over the whole "somebody said and they said" because I feel it's unnecessary so instead of handling it the way I wanted to which was to go off. The holy spirit said ask who told her the information and bring them into the room. He also brought up the scripture "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone" Matthew 18:15. So after I asked her she wouldn't release the information.
So I then said we have nothing to discuss. She said let's go get my daddy (the pastor.) I said that's ok we don't need to get him. In my head I already knew what was about to go down because you have to know the pastor's kids to know why I knew it was time to leave when she said "my daddy." It was said in a way of my daddy will agree with me over you whether I'm right or wrong because I'm his kid and this is his church and I knew that so I didn't wait around to create more friction I walked back into the Sanctuary and as I'm going I hear God say this is the day I'm releasing you from this church.
So on my way out I tell my mom this is my last day here I won't be back. You may be saying Brittney that was a dramatic move off of something so simple. I agree but you have to know my family to know why I knew it was God and necessary. Something that could've easily been fixed was about to open up a can of worms that my family had swept under the rug for years and because of lack of accountability, pride, arrogance, being well known in the city, thinking your above the word of God and truth, religion and routine, and refusing to answer to anyone besides yourself, God allowed the unit to crumble that very day. I'd have to give you a part 2 inside that particular story.
Back to the video on YouTube and the conversation I'm having with God. He said I allowed all that friction with you and this guy and even your family because that same mindset and spirit they had you were taking on and in order to cancel it out I had to remove you and remind you of what you said. He was referring to when I told him I'd live my calling out in truth etc. Well that day I had to make a decision to either Continue being fake, religious, routine Brittney, and choosing my family. Or being the Brittney who would stand before God alone without my family empitied of all my gifts because I chose to live a life of truth sold out to God.
I love my family but I chose the latter. I didn't want to be the next fake preacher in my family. When I say fake it's not that they didn't live what they preached. They became religious in it. And religion didn't carry compassion or love its only focus is to "look the part and title." Fast forward to 2017 God sheltered me from this guy and sheltered him from me. You see I could've done more damage to him and myself by us being together. He wasn't where he needed to be in his walk with God yet his measure of who he saw God as was through me.
And by me operating in my religion, I gave him a false version of the church and who God was. I didn't comprehend what it truly meant to be an example of Christ because my title as a licensed Minister and my status was more important than helping the guy I dated deal with his deep rooted issues of not communicating. So God threw in an interception and he allowed me to work on becoming the Brittney he originally created me to be instead of the Brittney that everyone in my family was pleased with when I didn't go against the grain. My truth was this, I lost a boyfriend and some of my family because I had to choose to become and walk in my purpose versus just being another person who God called.
Maybe your story isn't like mine maybe you chose to take the ball back from God in the game when he intercepted it. Maybe you can relate to some of my truth, that you too have operated in religion and routine and your ready to choose truth no matter if your family is on your team or not. You see if I would've stayed with that guy and at that church I would've never started this blog to even tell you some of my truth because I still would've been caught up, comfortable, and content just because I had gained a boyfriend who I was about to marry and I was apart of a family who God gifted in many areas.
Today, make the same choice I did. Choose God and truth and walk in that truth. I won't lie to you, was it easy, no but with time it became that. Is my family talking to me, 95% aren't but I take that pain to God daily and he gives me his strength and that strength pushes me to dive into purpose even more. As your reading this, I shared my truth and story so you would make a decision. God is looking for a generation of believers who won't worship him the way the previous generation did because of denomination, religion, and routine.
He's looking for a generation that says I want God more than I want marriage, I want God more than I want a baby with this guy I'm dating, I want God more than I want the recognition of my family, I want God more than I want this degree. Are you ready to sell out? Its a choice I make daily and a choice you can make right now! Choose Christ!
Religion didn't save me, truth did!
Who am I to you?
2 Corinthians 9:8
"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
In Matthew chapter 16, the disciples were asked a question by Jesus. "He asked who do you say that I am?" Peter immediately answered and said, "You are the Christ, Son of the living God." You're probably thinking what does this have to with the scripture above. Here's my point. As I was reading a book of one of my pastors, God asked me a question. He said, "Brittney who do you say that I am?" Immediately my brain went to all the things we love to quote in church. I answered and said, "You're my healer, redeemer, provider, and etc." He said, "you know me to be those things but you don't trust me to be those things to you."
You know how when your in a relationship and your fine when your in the beginning stages but when it's time for you to become vulnerable with that person there is a level of closeness that you allow and once you reach that level you shut off there. Well I experienced some unexpected challenges last year that caused my trust in others and even God to dwindle. So when God asked me this question I had an idea of where he was going with it and in my mind I wanted to reject it and say I'm not ready to deal with that and I'm content. Here is how 2 Corinthians 9:8 ties in.
I can't hold fast to this scripture or any other promise in the bible if I don't know who God is to me. As human beings we are great at pretending we are great Christians with high faith and trust in God, until that faith and trust is challenged and then we crumble. In the midst of me trying to respond to God's question, he says, "when you trust and are vulnerable with me, you'll see the fullness and fulfillment of 2 Corinthians 9:8 in your life. Truth is, I was once there in my relationship with God. He peeled back layers of who I was and who I had become. Honestly it was painful but joyful all at the same time.
And the thing is I don't want to feel that pain again. So at the expense of being made whole I am choosing my pain over my joy. I can't believe I'm admitting that. But it's a process. You see, a true relationship with God will cost you what your flesh wants to cling to. But today I'm conquering this by surrendering. Maybe your saying Brittney I want to surrender, I want to trust God, I want to be vulnerable with him, I want what 2 Corinthians 9:8 says but I just can't. Well I'm here to encourage you, let's take this walk together.
Our Destiny is tied up in our surrender and I want what God has placed in me to be surrendered so that when I become dust of the ground again I have poured out everything. How can we "abound in every good work" if we don't trust and know him to be the one who is "able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need?" So let's let go of trying to surrender and simply surrender. The process may not be easy but it's worth it. What is the kingdom missing because you haven't poured out?
God forgive us for never answering the question of who you are to us. Forgive us for pretending to trust and pretending to be vulnerable. We don't want to be those who cling to the comforts of our flesh more than we reach for a surrendered heart and life before you. We release all of who we are in exchange for all of who you are and kingdom work. We want to be poured out and surrendered. Help us to to reach for what you destined us to become in the earth instead of what and where we have chosen to settle. In Jesus name, Amen!
Will the world ever see Heaven's best version of you?
Every thing you've experienced from birth until now and those things that are to come, were all created to get you to heaven's best version of you. Not the world's best version of you based on their systems and ideas. God says, "I placed things in you that have a time, season, and demand. You cannot become weary in the challenge. You cannot become angry with me in the process and not come to me in honesty.
You can no longer overlook the affairs of your heart and pretend that you don't need my hand for surgery to take out the stones you've allowed to grow there. Now is the time! I have placed a demand on heaven's best version of you and it's needed now in the kingdom, now in this land, and now for the nations. The miracles signs and wonders are only seen when heaven's best version of you is operating consistently and when you're focused in on me."
In the book of Daniel chapter 1 they wanted to change/train and brain wash Daniel with the Babylonian system and it's religion. They even went so far as to try and change his name. This particular training was to last 3 years. As you go deeper into your study with this you will find where Daniel was able to go beyond functioning in this system.
Daniel found favor with those in authority over him even though he refused to conform to their beliefs and system. He became heaven's best version of his self by continuing in obedience but not conforming. Meaning I'll follow your rules as long as they don't conflict with my obedience to my GOD and lead me in error. As God began to reveal to me what I was reading I became aware of the fact that we are in the same place Daniel was in.
We are apart of the American system and it's set up goes against everything that Christ and the church stands for. But because the church has dimmed its light and given up on becoming more like Christ, settling for just enough, settling for the world's best version of you, and thinking if I just get the degree and money... we've become too content with mediocre and not comfortable with the miraculous.
I believe when the church gets to heaven's best version of herself then we can command the wind and seas just as Christ did. Then we will be the people of God operating in the spirit of God that draws others by the millions wanting to know who our God is. Daniel was so focused on not conforming and becoming heaven's best version of himself that the one who came up with all the rules, demands, and decrees had to take notice of Daniel and his God and show him favor even when he couldn't understand why he was showing him favor.
When you become heaven's best version of you and you refuse to conform you'll begin to see your walk with Christ a whole new way and so will others and you'll begin to understand why the natural has to line up with the supernatural in order for things to change. Daniel didn't have a Babylonian mindset although that's what they were training him for 3 years strong. So that means for 3 years he fought for a kingdom mindset and sanity in a system who compared his God to a Babylonian god who was deaf, dumb and mute. For 3 years Daniel stayed focused on kingdom work and heaven's best version of him.
He consistently prayed and stayed before God. What's distracting you from kingdom work and heaven's best version of you? It's time to remove the world's system from your mind, heart, and spirit. You can be in this world and not of it. God has placed a demand on you becoming heaven's best version of you and the time for it is now! The time for kingdom is now!
I'm still becoming!